you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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