I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
