I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize