I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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