He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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