Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
