I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
