you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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