I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize