where am i from again
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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