Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
