Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
