I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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