I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
