Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.

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(718): View more from New York

I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.

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