I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
