her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
