she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
