So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He has the fingertips of a God
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
