Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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