So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I will pee on everything he values.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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