So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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