I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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