I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
