i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
