Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize