Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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