I wish I could punch you in the face.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
