wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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