I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize