I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
