you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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