You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
