Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think my fart just growled at me.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
