I like to think it a success when the cops are called
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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