i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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