I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
