she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
