I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize