So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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