id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
