hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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