my vag is so smooth its legendary
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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