I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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