3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
