the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
