He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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