Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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