Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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