Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
