Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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