the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
