So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
handjob tips. give me some.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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