id be glad to
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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