I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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