This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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