So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
