I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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