My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
