So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
