If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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