We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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