Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Randomize
