You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
