Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
