I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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