They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
