he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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